Thursday, November 17, 2011

Nom Nom Vamp Baby Nom: Breaking Dawn, the Fail Boat of Epic Clusterfuckery

As you may know by now I am a fan of the Twilight Saga.  However over the past year and a half my love for it has faded a bit.  There is only so much of it that you can take.  Its been dragged out for so long my interest is just 'eh'.  Now I am still a huge Rob Pattinson fan, my love for him will last a while.
So the first half of the last book in the series Breaking Dawn movie comes out tonight at midnight.  You will be surprised to know that I will not be attending this midnight showing.  After Eclipse I told myself no more midnight movies, its just not worth the butt ache for an ok movie.  Shoot I don't know if I'm even going to run out and see it soon either. The Breaking Dawn book, while reading it well it was disappointing.  Out of the 600+ pages of that book I can honestly say that I only enjoyed about 5 or 6 scenes.  The book was balls.  I can go on about my book review but I won't that is a post by itself.  With my dislike of the book, and my not so great review of the last movie Eclipse, excitement for the Breaking Dawn movie is just not there.
First and foremost, why the fuck they thought this book was a good idea to be a TWO PART MOVIE, is beyond me.  I just don't understand that what so ever.  I mean for the integrity of the story there was no need for it to be drawn out to 2 movies, none what so ever.  I know why they did it, 1. to compete with Harry Potter, (and don't get me started on that, lets just say there is no competition there.)  2. Money  3. Relevance.  We all know that the production company that is in cahoots with the saga, was not well known at all before this. Twilight has made them tons and tons and tons of money.  We all know that money makes the world go 'round, especially in Hollywood so there you have it, they had to drag this thing out for the money, to stay relevant for another year because lets face it this productions company will never experience this again. Period.
OK lets move for the books, I loved Twilight tons, liked New Moon a lot (after the 2nd reading), and loved loved loved Eclipse. I already said Breaking Dawn was balls.   The movies: I loved loved Twilight, loved New Moon, and only kinda liked Eclipse a little (i can only pick out parts that i liked) it was a major let down seeing how I loved the book a ton.
When reading Breaking Dawn I only liked a few parts.  There was more WTFs going on, and boredom for most of the book. This is what I liked form the books:
1. Edward and Bella's wedding
2. Jacob & Rosalie's on going spats
3. Bella waking up a vamp
4. Bella showing her strength with Emmet arm wrestling and breaking rocks
5. Bella lifting her shield so that  Edward could read her mind
Yep that's it.  The book sucked, the main things I could not stand was the fade to Black sex scene, after allllllll that time waiting we get nothing! Edward turning into a pussy.  The wretched creepy hybrid baby. The big vamp war that never was. Bella getting every little tiny thing she wanted..that was just too perfect and unrealistic.

As for the movie I am thinking that the first half will be happy sparkly sunny rainbows.  That is fine with me, but with Kristen Stewart as Bella, I see it being a forced fake happy, she just does nothing for me what so ever and turning Bella butch well no, just no.  Then a pussy Edward? I hope not, I need my Edward to be fierce and if they make that change for the movie I will be game for that. Rob Pattinson has this Edward roll down, I'm sure he will play the part nice, even if the lines are cringe worthy. What I am most looking forward to not the wedding, not the honeymoon nope.  The birth scene.  I love when people who haven't read the books learn of the birth scene.  Lets just say since they baby is half vamp its not normal pregnancy or delivery its not going to be pretty and it will be horrid.  I. Can't. Wait.  Nom nom vamp baby nom.
Ill return at some point with my movie review.

1 comment:

  1. Nom nom vamp baby nom *DED* That is really the only scene I can't play out in my head how they are going to film. I won't even see stew on the screen, just gimme Rob.