Wednesday, November 24, 2010
My friend and I had the pleasure of taking our kids to see Justin Bieber a few weeks ago. I was stoked because I enjoy some Justin songs, singing and dancing to them with the kids. The fact that Justin is a little cutie isn't bad either.
We got word two days before the show that we would be able to meet him. MEET HIM. MEET JUSTIN BIEBER. omg omg omg OMMFG. This is totes going to make friend and I "Moms of the YEAR!"
We get to the arena around 3:30. Stand in line after line with tons of Tweens squeeing, crying, cheering what have you. We finally get let in at about 5:00pm. Another line. We are in the middle of about 200 tweens, and parents. We wait about 20 minutes to meet Justin. We have to go behind this curtain...shady much? We walk in an ooooohhhhhh ooohhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh the angles start to sing, a beam of light shines, fairy dust and stars are swirling around him. (not really) It's really Justin. Oh he is a cutie pie. Mental slap, he is a child. The girls walk up to him to get their picture taken and say nothing. Friend and I walk to the side. The photographer tells us to get in the picture...OK! Woooo...I skip over to him saying "Hiiiiiiiii!" Justin says "what's up?" Oh nice voice you have going on there. Another Mental slap, Jail bait. So we get our picture taken, the kids are star struck into silence. We go to step away and Mr. Biebers finger gets stuck in my wristlette purse after he feels up my arm. All you had to do is ask for my number Justin, you don't have to try to steal my purse. Mental punch, he is younger then my sibling.
We leave and get to the stair well and SQUEEEEEEE. Yes all 4 of us are so excited. I mean the kids have every right, but my friend and I umm....no not so much. It was an awesome expierence. So we leave the meet and greet and get seated for the show. The kids are fecking STOKED!
If you ever have to to go or want to go to a Justin Concert here are a lits of things you should know:
>Girls. Girls. Lots of Girls
>those girls ^ thousands all in one place = Loud. no, they are FUCKING LOUD. Unless you've been to a Beiber concert as an adult, you have NEVER heard anything like this in your life, I promise you this.
>You will plug your ears when the screaming comes
>2nd hand embarrassment, I had it for some of these girls. I wanted to hug them and take them away. Example: a Mother of 1 tween, and a young boy around 7 years old wore and I am not exaggerating: Silver sequined mini dress, paired with Thigh High platform boots, topped with a mini jean jacket, huge designer purse, and large sun glasses. She looked like she went tanning that morning or used way to much toner. Bleached long dry hair.
>You will not be able to help your self if you like Justin or not, if your kid listens to him, you will know the songs, and you will sing along to all the songs that you know.
>You realize that you know more of the songs than you think and you sing sing sing and your friend gives you the side eye, then laughs at you.
>Sean Kings-TON (say in a Jamaican accent please) is a cutie Jamaican boy, who I like to call Baby Biggie, is a pretty awesome kid.
>Justin actually sings live, and dances and plays 3 instruments.
>Justin had about 7 wardrobe changes.
>When Just asks "where are my single ladies" you scream anyway even though you are a married mom of two, and you are old enough to be Justin's Cougar.
>You will sit there with your friend and calculate how old you will be when he turns 18
>When you are getting ready to meet Justin, your throat goes dry and you want to hurl. But then you see him and you are all like "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" as you skip over to him for a photo.
>Then you leave the meet and greet and you are squeeing with your daughters "OMG he touched my shirt, back, shoulder, arm, he hand got stuck on my purse, and I had to yank it off his finger"
>Justin has pretty skin and very white teeth.
>Some of the fans, should of not left the house in some of their outfits, or lack there of.
>Girls Sharpee Beiber on their Bellies, cheeks, arms, "cleavage".
>You will make your own ear plugs, example: Ipod earphones were used, as well as balled up strings from your hoodie shirt shoved in your ears.
>That little fucker is a rich mo foe, everything was 15.00 and over.
>You will buy a bootleg Tshirt form the parking lot because you spent all of your money in soda, cotton, candy, and a water ice. BTW the kids SPLIT the Cotton candy and water ice.
>Out of desperation you will do laps around the stadium 3 times before you find the smoking lounge.
>At one point you will take to your blackberry and read a fanfic in the middle of Justin singing.
>You will scream "I love you Justin" with your kids when they ask
>When you leave you will know Justin's favorite color is Purple, and he was a cutie pie kid.
>You will need to bleach your mind at least 3 times, because if it were visible you would be escorted out of the arena by Chris Hansen.
>You will feel sorry for any Dad there.
You will call people and sing a Justin song to them.
>When you are leaving the show you will listen to Baby, sing it at the top pf your lungs with your kids, then need to hear anything but Justin. Lil Wayne, Eminem, and KOL
>You would do it all over again to see the look on your kids faces when they see their idol.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Remember that time you were a reputable magazine. Readers would turn to you for the true facts of Hollywood news. Interesting stories about real people, and awesome picture spreads.
Well I have to say, you suck hard now. I don't think we can be friends any longer. I think I bought my last People mag today. Its been a long time coming, you just took the cake. You are trying to keep up with the US, OK, Star, which if you haven't noticed are all trash. It sucks that you just print news with out checking facts, in your magazine and online site.
Now for your Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 review.....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING? Alynda Wheat, who ever the hell you are, let me tell you something YOU SUCK AT LIFE. YOU SUCK AT MOVIE REVIEWS.
You are obviously not a Potter fan or you would not have given this movie 2 stars out of 4. What the hell are you thinking crack head?
This movie was brilliant. Have you read the books? Have you viewed the other movies? If you have this review I am about to break down, should not let a Potter fan cringe like its going to.
"Sadly dividing J.K. Rowling's final Potter book into two films, how ever logical does more violence to the material than even Voldermort could handle."WHAT? Did you eat a bowl of shit for brains for breakfast? If you have read the book it NEEDED to be split. As for the violence, what? Did you read the book? I really need to know this. I am going to guess no, no you did not. Voldy is a mean ass mother fucker just so you know, so the movie actually sugar coated Mr. Voldy. The material that was included in this part of the movie is just what we needed. Somethings need to be cut out of the book, but they included pretty much everything needed for the non reader to "get" the story line.
"...the film underscores it's tediousness; at 2.5 hours its far to long."What? What? Whaaaaat? You are a fucking wack job. As a Potter fan, and I am sure I speak for other fans, we would have sat in that movie for 4 hours and ate everything up, loving it.
"A clever jaunt into the Ministry of Magic and brisk chase punctuate the dull stretches, but Part 1 is (and utterly feels) like set up for the next summers dramatic finale, with a mighty battle to decide the fate of the world.
If you wanted a action packed movie that filled up every second of the film with no clear plot or interesting dialog maybe you should have reviewed something else. Potter is not this movie, there is actually dialog needed, there is actually things that needed to be discussed, a mystery to be solved, the whole point for a damned movie you moron. It needed to be realistic. Of course this is a set up for the next movie, this is the first half of the book asshole.
"Take heart fellow Potter fan: A better film awaits."A better film awaits? What are you trying to be Alice Cullen now, predict the future? No you idiot Part 2 will be Brilliant, as Brilliant as Part 1....just you wait and see, oh and I cant wait to sit for 5 hours when they both come out on DVD and view both movies back to back. True fact, your are not telling us something that we don't already know.
So basically, your review was rubbish. Everything you wrote was the opposite of what the actual movie was... believe me..you call yourself a "Fellow Potter Fan" well Miss. Thang hand your Potter card in because this is an embarrassment.
I rolled my eyes so hard, I think they are stuck to the back of my head.