Monday, April 30, 2012

Some Harry Potter Pimpin'

Hello All!
I almost missed my April post here.  I also see that I did make a March post, only because I entered a book giveaway contest.  I need to step my game up over here!  In my 101 in 1001 my goal is to make at least one post a month here, I am totes doing the bare minimum.  If I could just keep my ass off Twitter and Pinterest maybe I would have more time. Ill try to make an effort. Maybe.We shall see.

 Lets see...what to write about today. DING, I got it.  Today is my friend's birthday, she turned 35 25.  She might kill me for writing this. But then again I don't think she knows of my blogging.  Well she will today. So any who, my friend.... lets call her HotMama,.... (I know but my wit and clever meter is low today, it is Monday I just can't think of anything more catchy than that.) I'm rambling......
So It was brought to my attention that HotMama didn't know a motherfecking thing about Harry Potter. Nothing.  At.  All.  I mean I know I myself is considered a "new" fan by just reading the books in 2009, but holy shit balls at least I knew Harry was a Wizard, and he had 2 best friends that fought bad guys.  Yes that was my extent. But HotMama here knows nothing and I was like OH Hold Up Here!  I mean I know she is not the only one of my friends who are uneducated in the Harry Potter world, but I guess she was just in the right place at the right time.  Now she & I usually do not exchange gifts on our birthdays (my b-day is just 6 days before her) we usually just enjoy our awesomeness that is having a birthday in April 6 days apart. But that day was a lucky one for HotMamma! I was bored at work, my mind going off in its little world of cray as it often does and I thought: "I'm going to send HotMama some Harry Potter books for her birthday."  Then I thought: "Well she might just use the books as scrap paper, I must write her a letter to go along with it."  Thinking that, that may not be enough I thought: "Well I think i need to compose a persuasive writing piece, to make her not be able to resist reading these books." So that is what I set off to do.  I wrote her a nice persuasive piece on why she needs to read Harry Potter. I also included some history on the books and JKR.  I typed it up, wrapped up a nice package, with a beautiful Birthday Card greeting for her.  Even though she only lives 15 minutes from me I sent this package through the mail, because it would get to her before I would be able to.  In the package there were strict instructions to follow. Because I didn't want her to open the gift and roll her eyes at the Harry Potter pushing I was inflictioing on her.  Each book was wrapped and I took it back to middle school (in the 90s) and folded her persuasive letter in "that way we use to fold notes back in the day" with the word "pull" on it and all.
I sent HotMama a text warning  heads up that "a package was on its way". 
She responded with "I'm scared"
I said: "you will encounter the most Nerdiest thing ever in your life. Don't be scared. Just follow the directions. LOL"
She said with: "Ha! OK! I like nerds."
(at this point I was thinking yessssss she just may read these books)
The day HM received her package I get this text: "I just received and opened my birthday package. I laughed out loud, you are fecking hilarious"
Me: Do you love it? Did I persuade you?
HM: I loved it. U might have persuaded me...key word...might.
Ill take it.  I also decided to keep this Harry Potter letter on hand for my next victim, clueless Harry Potter, friend who needs to know about this Harry Potter business. 

 Below you can take a look at the particular letter that I wrote to my dear friend.  

Happy Birthday My Darling!
I decided to send you this gift in hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did.
Ok go ahead and open the first package.
Did you roll your eyes? Laugh, shake your head? Well whatever you did hear me out.
After we played Draw Something and you didn’t know who Harry Potter was, I was thinking this is just blasphemy! Everyone knows at least a teeny tiny little bit of something of Harry Potter, even if they have not read the books or watched the movie. I mean at least people know he is a Wizard for fecks sake! LOL You are such a Muggle.
Yeah Yeah I’ve lost my marbles….keep hearing me out….
If you are an avid reader or not, if you think that Harry Potter is for children, or if Harry Potter is not your type of book, or if you just don’t give a damn….once you start reading you will enjoy the story. I promise.
Enclosed I have provided you with your own set of Harry Potter books…Books 1 -3. If you would just read these 3 books, just to appease me, I will be the happiest nerd in town.
Now if after you’ve completed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (aka the third book) and you are not intrigued to move to the fourth book, I will be proven wrong and won’t force feed you the Harry Potter books anymore! But if you want to know what happens in the next four books, please read on. I mean I am providing you with the books, so there will be no excuse not to read on. Unless you find them uninteresting & unreadable then fine, I’ll back the eff up, and move on to something else.
(I am baggin myself up here, I feel like a JW at the front door on a Saturday morning, but with Harry Potter)
In conclusion, I have provided some information about the author (I think you will appreciate) and some info on each book before you start reading (if you decide to do) this feels so formal don’t it! Haa haa, I’m totally going to give this letter and books to other people after you, why? because I am a big NERD! But I wouldn’t do it if what I was asking you to read was not pure brilliance. It’s an amazing story! I thought was strictly for children, and yes it starts out as an easy child’s read, but builds into an amazing journey and story!
So just read the fecking books! Text, FB, Tweet, email, call, come visit me while you read, with comments, questions, and pronunciations (ill try my best there) and don’t be a cheating cheater who cheats & just watch the movies…because I will know! You could each book then watch its movie. It’s a good way to get a good visual. But the books are more amazing than the movies. Just saying. (I could totes bring the movie over and we could watch and have wine)
So happy birthday boo boo! Hopefully you can say I fell in love with the Harry Potter books at age 35! :o)
Love your neardiest friend ever,


 Yeah thats how I roll.

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