Dear Beyonce and JayZ,
As much as I don't want to waste my words on you, my blog space, and give any fucks about you while writing this; I have to get this off my chest once and for all.
Who. The. Fuck. Do. You. Think. You. Are?
Yes, yes, I realize that you two are at the top of your game in your musical career. You've worked hard to get where you are now blah blah blah. But you need to be knocked down a few pegs. You two need to calm the fuck down, and get your heads out of your pretentious asses.
You two have caused some unnecessary dramas since the birth of your baby. I mean I understand your excitement and joy, but Christ on a fucking cracker you two are not the first parents to have a child. Why you think you need to act better than the rest of the world is beyond me. It just proves how much of a pair of assholes you really are.
That whole hospital debacle that you two and your staff caused was complete and utter bullshit. It was one of the most shittiest things I heard about this year; and that's saying something because I've witness some complete ridiculousness in the past 41 days. Do you guys honestly believe that you were delivering the second coming of Christ? Does B have a golden lined vagina? Was the baby being delivered onto a pile of one hundred dollar bills? Was Kanye performing at the birth so that the baby's first experience into the world was to hear a douche bag rapping?
Secondly, that vehicle that you two purchased, can it even be called a van? What the actual fuck is that shit? I mean you're a total contradiction with that purchase. I mean that fucker is out of control and totally unnecessary. It will produce enough pollution so that when Dear Sweet Lord Blue Ivy is older her world will be more polluted, I mean that 'van' will kill a whole forest on it's own.
So Jay-Z, I hear that you have decided not to use the word 'bitch' any longer because you are now a father to a baby girl. So you're just going to give up the word bitch, now? Not for your wife, mother, or any other female in the world? What about other words? Are you going to replace the word bitch with motherfucker? I mean its nice that you want to filter yourself, but hey why not just stop cussing all together? I mean that would make more sense you dumb ass.
Lastly, and this was the final straw for me, I mean of all the shit in the world.... you two have decided to Trademark your Dear Sweet Lord Baby. W.T.A.M.F? You made your child a BRAND? Really? I mean really? I do not even know how to respond to this other than: You two are the most pretentious, ridiculous, unbelievable, self centered snots.
In conclusion you are not the first parents in the world, you are not the last, you are no special nor more important than anyone else. You will still get shit on, spit up on, lose sleep, and have the joy or worry just like every other parent. So just stop, shut the fuck up, and go sit down over there.